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How Stella Got Her Grit Back

Updated: Aug 27, 2022

Grit is a trait that is a stronger predictor of success than either intelligence or I.Q. It has different definitions but the one that resonates with me is perseverance and passion for long-term goals despite setbacks and obstacles. While this definition of grit was coined by American psychologist and researcher, Angela Duckworth, other definitions such as courage and resolve; strength of character can be found in the dictionary.

Losing My Grit and Struggling to Find My Voice and Power

At different points in our lives, we may lose our grit for one reason or another and struggle to regain it. I lost my grit for about 10 years and struggled to find my voice and my power. I was involved in a toxic relationship that had me thinking my life was not worth living. During my darkest moments, I even considered taking my own life (Yes, I said it, I had suicidal thoughts, and I am not alone). Fortunately, I did not plan nor attempt suicide, mostly because of the positive relationships and support systems I had around me, however; I realize that not everyone is so lucky. The strongest protective factors against suicide for me were my parents and my son. I could not imagine causing them such pain and devastation, but most importantly, I wanted to raise my son myself. I persevered and instead sought help for my mental health.

A Woman of Grit & The Gritpreneur

Due to the soul work, I went from asking "why me, why did this happen to me?" to eventually find my "why". I now consider myself a Woman of Grit and The Gritpreneur and have made it my life's work to empower, motivate, inspire, and teach other women who may be struggling so they too may transform into Women of Grit and start thriving. My mantra "Ever gritful, never quit" reminds me to persevere and not quit on myself even when things get tough or are not going as planned.

I share the lessons I have learned as women's empowerment speaker and during the breadth of my professional life in a soon to be released book and podcast. The book is called "Woman of G.R.I.T: How to Find Your Voice, Reclaim Your Power and Transform Your life" and the podcast is just "Woman of G.R.I.T", like this blog. Stay tuned. I am also looking forward to launching courses based on the G.R.I.T framework for women who need help getting their grit back.

So, what does the acronym G.R.I.T stand for? The letter "G" is for Grace to Grow a Growth mindset, "R" represents restraint, also known as self-mastery, "I" is for Introspection, which is the process of looking inwards to discover yourself, and "T" is for Transforming into a Woman of G.R.I.T.

Who the Heck is Stella?

You may be wondering who Stella is and what she has to do with this blog. Wonder no more. Stella is the woman I became when I lost my grit and was trying to get it back. I figured if Stella, played by the actress, Angela Bassett was able to get her groove back in the movie "How Stella Got Her Groove Back", then I could get my grit back. Eventually, I did and now I use my voice and stand in my power, however; getting my grit back was neither easy nor quick.

I went through an extended period of self-discovery during which I reconnected with the essence of my being. I learned a lot about myself and continue to learn every day. We each may lose our grit along the way, however; the important thing is that we find our voice, reclaim our power (snatch it back), and transform into women of grit. Failure is not losing your grit; it is failing to get it back once you lose it.

It Is Always Darkest Before Dawn

I look forward to sharing more about what helped me and has helped many other women get their grit back, so they persevere and remain passionate about their meaningful, long-term goals, even when they face obstacles. I hope the information I share about my successes and the lessons I learned on my journey from pain to finding my purpose will be valuable to anyone who may be struggling.

Learn more about me and what I do by visiting my website at: and subscribing, so you know when new blogs are posted.

I repeat this phrase to myself to ground me when I encounter challenges that threaten to overwhelm me during my day: "As bad as things may seem right now, remember that it is always darkest before dawn and light always comes in the morning".

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, call or text 988 (800273TALK) or text TALK to 741741 (@CrisisTextLine) – available 24/7, 365 days a year. You are not alone.

Until next time, remain ever gritful and never quit!

Dr. Ahne, The Gritpreneur

Find Your Voice | Reclaim Your Power | Transform Your Life


1. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website:

2. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website:

3. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) Website:

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